!

09:26 pm: moving day
spirit_if

i might still write here sometimes, but don't count on it.

edit; i added like five people already. i'm too lazy to figure out who else to add/who wants to be added :]

03:02 pm: i'm thinking about starting a new journal, basically friends only, so that i can get back into the swing of writing things...on a regular basis. tell me if you want to be added, i'll probably post a link here later as well.

love you all.

12:26 am: hello
this is the reason that i never write on livejournal anymore: school.

when i'm not in school, i'm doing homework. when i'm not doing homework, i'm thinking about the homework i should be doing. this semester is ridiculously stressful, and i'm just hitting the bumps now. i have 9 more papers to write, the last being due april 24th. that will mark the official end of the semester from hell.

in other news...well, there isn't much. i went to florida for a week. today i heard a scary conversation between a cocaine dealer and the guy that he was paying to find out who jumped him. experienced a dumb amount of foot injury pain from playing on an inflatable obstacle course. might be moving this summer.

au revoir, mes amis!

09:53 pm:

fall in love and fall apart, things will end before they start.

03:12 pm:

( San Francisco! )

08:39 pm:


( the good that won't come out )



( june 29 )

01:38 am: my head hurts.
and my heart.

04:19 pm:

( the execution of all things )

12:04 am:

( i can remember just one thing )

02:42 am: tell me something about someone you love.

01:57 am: Go to imdb.com & look up ten of your favorite movies. Post three imdb plot keywords for each movie, have your friends guess the movie titles!

1. Drunkenness / Book / Forest
2. Fashion Model / Cameo Appearance / Brainwashing
3. Fairy Tale / Enchanted Object / Love
4. Erased Memory / Betrayal / Crush
5. Drive Thru / Parent Child Relationship / Obsession
6. Cult Comedy / Kung Fu / Arson
7. Blues Music / Personal Ad / Record Collecting
8. Neo Noir / High School / Shot In The Chest
9. Suicide / Swimming Pool / Kidnapping
10. Drug Use / Music Industry / Growing Up

12:42 am: today is the day that i look back on the vaguest of my memories - spinning in circles under an old old tree and the hottest sun there could have been. vague as it may be, it comes back to me as always and dredges up the feeling that has lingered just beneath my surface for the better part of two decades. it's bittersweet nostalgia that rises up in me, aches in my stomach and fills me with empty in ways that i never would have imagined. if i thought that years later i would ache for some stupid tree they tore down in the park i grew up in, i would have convinced them to tear me down instead. i would have let them tear me down, if only they let the tree grow [up]. for eighteen years it would grow: its bark would be the darkest brown, ridged and creased and more wrinkled than the oldest hands you ever knew. its roots would peek out from the dirt, twist themselves into poetry and each day kids kicking up dust storms would trip over stanzas.

but.
it's.
no.
matter.

they spin in circles under the tree and incessantly they trip, but they keep running on like only those that are truly free will ever know how to do. and the tree, who is anything but free, does not show worse for the wear even after all these years. six thousand five hundred and seventy days it grows. it stretches its arms, straight up to the sky and scrapes the clouds, gently still. today is a summer's day. the sun is so whitebright that the leaves shimmer and the clouds forget that these are leaves and they dance together for a while...and a few million feet below are the roots who flex their old fingers who crack their old knuckles who shake off the heaviest dirt in a way that reminds me of myself shaking rain off after a storm - swift shake and a shiver. a thousand feet down are the kids whose tennis shoes scuff and trip them up up up. and who can't help but sneak a glance up at the sky when they fall.

and the sky.

today i'm alive and the tree is not. today i pluck fistfuls of dandelions from the spot where i'm certain its trunk once stood. today is one of a hundred days that i sketch a certain tree in my notebook. and here i'll admit that these drawings cannot suffice because the bark isn't quite gnarled enough and the leaves never quite shimmer. but i save these drawings all the same. yes, i hang them inside of my closet on a door that was once a tree. on a door that was once a tree that stretched its hands up to touch the sky. and i'm free.

04:45 pm:

( spring. )

03:07 pm:



omg.

08:59 pm:

( when they come from over the mountain )

10:24 pm: Bedford Drive - Julianne
Devendra Banhart - In Golden Empress Hands
Sondre Lerche - Two Way Monologue
The Microphones - The Moon
Statistics - Hours Seemed Like Days
The Shins - Sea Legs
Dear and the Healights - Mother Make Me Golden
As Tall as Lions - Ghosts of York
Nada Surf - Imaginary Friends
The New Pornographers - Use It
Sigur Ros - Se Lest


I love all of theeeeese. Maybe at some point in my life I will write a real entry and inform you all about my life, but don't count on it. Until then random photos, euphemisms, and playlists will have to do.

12:54 am:

we are all lying in the gutter...

07:32 pm: Sometimes I feel like I'm getting an education in college and sometimes I feel like my head is exploding.

08:19 pm:

06:26 pm:

2007 hurts my head.